3.08am

im sleepy...but still hv time to do my fav hobby, surfing.. (-_-)

2weeks holiday..enjoy abis.. tp letih jd buruh kasar kt umah ni.. what i did were juz a routine. everyday...but today..adus.. bcoz of my last day kt rumah, my mom mengerahkan seluruh tenaga aku..kemas2 umah..angkat2 brg...angkat almari..katil..meja...huhuhu penat siot...but it was quite fun.. doing all da things together...had fun wit my sis.. bergurau senda..cewah.. but da prob is.. bile bercampur gaul ngan habuk+debu, start la arlegic nye.. adus..seksa mak, nyah.. =)

Esok, bus kul 9am..tp brg still unpack. huhuhu malas rasenye.. but its not too long..jap je..sampai bulan6, grad la aku. InsyaAllah...

ngantuk ah.. nite. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hmmm..semenjak 2menjak ni aku semakin rajin menulis… menulis tentang hidup… tentang diri…dan tentang org lain…satu2 cara yg mungkin dpt meringankan bebanku.. satu2 cara yg dpt meluahkan perasaanku…

Aku mahu menceritakan 1 situasi… ketika aku bersama motivator yg paling aku sanjungi.. My father..

Aku bknlah dlm kategori yg pemalu atau penakut, tp dlm satu2 keadaan, aku akan menjadi malu yg teramat.. takut yg teramat… sampai x boleh bergerak… sampai rasa nk lari ke ujung dunia… Sampai aku rasakan dunia ni x adil pd aku… huhuhu mungkin kwn2 yg rapat pernah tgk aku dlm situasi yg mcm ni.. huhuhu

dan satu hari….aku, mak + adik berada dlm kereta and the driver of course lah that motivator… dan die tau aku ada kelemahan ni… kelemahan yg xdapat di buang dari kecik… Peristiwa tu berlaku di pasar mlm.. punye la ramai org… and we r still searching for parking space.. then, the motivator asked me ( why it is always me?!!!) ;

Motivator: Ana, cuba bayangkan dlm sesak2 tu ana pegang belon yg amat besar…Bw belon tu dari ujung pasar mlm sampai lintas jalan…. Sanggup x? Malu x?

Ana : Hush… xnak ah.. Malu!!

Motivator: Cuba byg kan pulak… situasi yg sama, ana bawak belon besar dari ujung pasar mlm sampai lintas jalan.. tp kat tepi jalan tu ade Shahida (sepupu umur 4 tahun)… belon tu untuk die…nak bg kat die… Sanggup x? Malu x?

Ana : Hmmm.. (terdiam sambil dh faham maksud tersirat)

Motivator: Tak malu kan? Ana dlm situasi yg sama… Orang tetap pandang…. Tp niat tu membezakan perasaan kite.. Apa yg kita fikir tu yg membezakan perasaan kita.. bukan ape yg org lain fikir…. Dorang tetap akan pandang, dorang tetap akan bercakap, tp ape yg kita fikir, ape yang kita capai…tu sumer datang dari dlm diri kita… Malu dan takut tu kita yang cipta.. Semuanya bergantung pada kita… buat ape nk takut ape yg org cakap.. ape yg org fikir…

Ana : (terdiam…..) Betul jugak… (dlm hati)

Thanx abah! Motivasi yg die bg tu betul2 buat aku terfikir tp kadang2 manusia ni pandai berfikir je… xpandai nk ubah! Ekekeke.. but I’ll try to change… =)

Hello…1st of all, I wish to express my gratitude to those who generously helped me color this beautiful life…my family…my frens…and me, myself… =) why im saying dis? …This is not d end of life?.....0

hmmm….dis is bcoz…’externally’, I feel very happy…next short sem is going to be my final sem…until June…end of my student life…but actually, it is not d end. It is juz the beginning. The beginning of my miserable life…Opss, dats not my words… some seniors said dat.. And I hope they are all wrong!

But ‘internally’, deep inside my heart, I am sad. Student’s life is the most precious moment in my entire life. Feeling young…acting young… pretending to forget my own age.. I guess….

hey, im still young!! =)

So, what’s my destination next? Get a damn good job or hanging around while planting grapes? Naaaa… I dun know…….. Actually, im not dat type of person…. dat dreaming for a damn good job…what a good job for me is….is good job…. Hahaha… secret remains secret…what to say? I have my own dream…After I’ve got lost so many time, yet, im still sticking on that dream… hope I can achieve dat.. pray for me…

Hmmm…saying about dream, it makes me remember to someone who is close to me…a damn good fren of mine… And he gets offered for Master in Moscow, Russia, with scholarship..… Fuhh…tak abih study lg, dh dpt offer…kalau a normal person get dis offer, nobody will refuse to go. But unfortunately, dis beloved fren of mine is not normal… he is insane. =) hahaha …Sorry dude..

But he is what he is.. Rejecting that offer perhaps makes him sad or confuse or happy… I dun know…only u know the reason, fren… and as a damn good fren, I will always support u….. Pray for u…Till the end…I promise.. bcoz, he has his own dreams…like everybody.. Hope u achieve it!!! hahaha aku best kan!

End of story. Hmmm..So, how about we call it a day!! Isk..mcm ayat bro rizal lak.. hohoho ampuuun sir… I have 1 more paper to go.. Requirement Engineering… Wish me luck..coz I rili rili need luck rite now.. huhuhu.. daaaaaa